Posted by: Chasy | 12/10/2011

A response to “Dangerous or a rite of passage” by request

My dear friend Bron asked me via Facebork what I thought of this article, then encouraged me to blog my response. So, if you have quarrel with it, blame her.

Anyway. Here ’tis:

Using the Marquis de Sade as an example of why porn is bad is pretty pathetic. There was no consent when it came to his victims, which is not porn, but rape. It’s not unusual for detractors to extrapolate from anecdotes or studies in such a manner and use it to support their argument.

Of all the types of fetish porn Dr Bray lists, she fails to mention that fetishes are, for the most part, healthy, despite whether you find them attractive or not, and that they all have consent. Again, if they don’t, it’s not porn, it’s rape. Detractors never mention this fact, nor, if you’ll notice, actually have any evidence to back up any of the claims of abuse, save for a few vague anecdotes. It’s all based on their personal opinion on what they find attractive – seeing as they don’t, they are quick to claim it is ‘abuse’. I assume it’s because they simply don’t understand it. I find this frustrating, because they are essentially saying, “Well, I don’t like it, so you can’t possibly.” We are not allowed to make those decisions by ourselves. The assumption is also that sexual attraction is uniform in it’s manifestation. Everyone must like the same thing in the same way, apparently.

I wasn’t at there for it, but the Camp Betty conference held in Sydney in 2011 had a workshop called ‘Fucking Crips’ – which was organised by People with Disabilities – that discussed how finding people who had fetishes such as Stump Porn was actually liberating for PWD such as themselves. For want of a better phrase, they were no longer a freak, they were a part of the larger community who was out there having healthy sexual relationships. It’s not for everyone, and it’s certainly not going to work for ever PWD, either. Again, it’s about choice and consent.

As Fiona Pattern says, not all porn is good. Any porn where absolute consent is not given is illegal. Nobody is advocating for that to continue. However, if detractors can’t produce actual evidence that watching or performing in it is harmful, while supporters can show sexual assaults have fallen since the advent of commercial porn, they can get stuffed. Erm, no pun intended.

I also have a huge problem with the title. I don’t believe Fiona Pattern is saying that porn is a ‘rite of passage’ at any point. She is definitely saying it is not the big bad boogeyman, turning good young men into rapists at a glance, that is it made out to be by it’s detractors, and can easily be a part of any healthy relationship.

Also, where’s the fucking question mark?!



  1. I did nothing of the sort!

    Oh alright, I did. Direct all hate mail to

    I’m shocked I didn’t notice the missing question mark!

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